Nipples, Pits and M&M's

You know those days when you’re not sure if you want a shower, a nap, a bag of M&M’s (the family size) or a glass of wine and it's only noon?!   It mostly started with wanting to yell horrible names at our plainer when it kept denting wood.  I found myself glaring at it and saying things under my breath every time I walked by.  


Why do we talk about our tools and machines like they are people, and why always a woman?  With one of my designs this week I need iron pipes.  Did you know there are female, male and nipple reference?  Seriously men, grow up.  While at Home Depot my husband took it upon himself to see how many times he can say “nipple” while searching for the proper iron pieces.  Ok fine, you want to play that game.  So, I chimed in “Make sure to screw on the dick head all the way and get that anus in there nice and tight.”  Needless to say he stopped saying “nipple” every chance he got.  What???  Those are body parts too.  This then sparked the conversation of why is the plainer always call a grumpy bitch, why not a stupid ass?  Sorry for the language, if I were to actually say this to anyone it would come out grumpy goober and stupid monkey.  I rarely swear.  The first time I swore out loud was in my Advanced Pastry class, everyone applauded and cheered that I finally did it. 


While still getting our work done we obviously have fun around here.  If you aren’t enjoying what you do, why bother.  Things have gotten a bit more interesting and continue to everyday.  I have gotten into a sword fight (a friendly one, if there is such a thing), toured an old grain mill that I now want to live in, started designing furniture and I am writing a cook book!  Our days fill up fast around here.  Between meetings, quotes and designs, production, city involvement and oh yeah our two kids, there is never a dull moment.  This week feels like one big jumble, it’s Friday and I am still trying to wrap my brain around it all.  I look forward to the weekends when my conversations involve animal noises, what craft we can do and those hard decisions of what should we have for snack today. 


The cookbook all came from Driven, an education program based on experience teaching.  What I love most about Driven is not only the people we meet but it sparks an interest in me to learn more about everything.  I just finished reading a book about living and eating in Paris.  Next, is a book about butter, that’s it J  The research has already been an interesting journey.  I am not sure how I would describe my cooking and baking methods.  There are a lot of recipes I have never measured out; it turns out the same for me time after time.  Now, I have to think about measurements and what I am doing.  How long to bake something in the oven?  Normal question.  Nope, I have not a clue.  “It’s done when it’s done”…..drives my sister crazy.


Back to this mill that I now want to live in.  I am not sure why I find historical buildings so fascinating.  I have been told by many I have an old soul; I’ve always felt I was born in the wrong era.   However, my husband has told me many times I would not have survived the Oregon Trail.  Thinking back, I was always dying from snake bites and dysentery in the original game.  I could have spent hours looking in every nook and cranny of this old mill.  I was so excited to hear the homeowner say “come over sometime and we can go explore the pit”.   I know it sounds creepy, but there is some cool stuff down there! 


If you have figured it out yet, based on the fact that I never swear, I would consider myself old fashioned.  It probably comes off like I enjoy doing things the hard way.  Making my own flour for homemade bread, growing our own fruits and vegetables, milling our own lumber, hand drawn designs etc.  I feel there is so much more reward in knowing you did something yourself.  We secretly all want those gold stars put under our name. 


I know there are fancy computer programs out there that can generate designs a lot faster and more accurate.  I just love using a paper and pencil.  Who doesn’t love crossing something off on their list, the satisfaction of DONE!  With our business expanding I know that smarter technology is something I need to start making friends with.  Everyone wants the virtual experience, seeing a design in lifelike detail, making changes by the click of a button.  I don’t think I can treat clients like I do my husband “Stop talking and do it, trust me it will look great!”  Wives out there, you know the tone I am talking about.


So sorry if this blog seems jumbled but maybe you will understand what I mean when I say I am still trying to wrap my brain around it all.  I was going to butcher it and split it into two, but I decided no, this is my week in a nutshell.  Thank goodness it’s Friday, bring on the M&M’s and wine! 

Natalie Kohlhagen